Unwanted pregnancy is common, but only a few women are privileged enough to deal with it with a strong support system. If you’d be alone in this journey, here are your options.
An unwanted pregnancy isn’t just something that happens to teens. Even successful women or happily married couples could be affected by it. Having a baby is no simple matter. It binds you in a lifelong commitment that takes more than love and affection to sustain.
If you’re not ready for this commitment, then perhaps parenthood isn’t for you right now. Realizing this fact can be terrifying and heartbreaking, and you may feel like you’ve betrayed your unborn child. But in this situation, know that you deserve not judgment, but support and understanding.
Sadly, not all women have the same options when dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. Hence, if you’re privileged enough to have access to all options, don’t take it for granted. Here’s everything you can do to deal with your unplanned pregnancy:
Table of Contents
1. Adoption
In countries or states where abortion is illegal, adoption is the only option for unwilling moms-to-be. You can have your baby adopted in four ways: closed adoption, open adoption, direct placement adoption, or agency adoption.
Closed adoption is the process of cutting off contact with your child or their adoptive family after you’ve given birth. It would be up to the adoptive family whether to tell the child that they’re adopted. If they choose to do so, the child may reach out to you when they come of age. But this depends on the state law.
If you want to stay in touch with your child throughout their life, choose open adoption. Their adoptive parents would keep their communication lines open. They would also send you yearly photos of the child, update you about important milestones, and even visit you. When the child comes of age, they can contact you on their own.
Direct placement adoption is a more legal approach, as it involves an adoption attorney and legal fees. In this process, you’d be the one who’ll choose an adoptive family for your child. You and the adoptive family of your choice will then decide whether to go for closed or open adoption.
Lastly, agency adoption is the use of a third party to help find adoptive parents for your child. This can be risky, but the right agency will offer amazing benefits. These include counseling about all pregnancy options, assistance in accessing healthcare, and some participation in choosing the child’s adoptive family.
All forms of adoption can be stressful, though. Even if you’re not ready for parenthood, you might experience some guilt in giving your baby away. Hence, it’s important to be meticulous in choosing an adoptive family. The only way for you to gain peace and security is to be sure that your baby will have a great life and future, despite the choices you’ve made.
2. Take the Risk and Embark in Parenthood
In some cases, pregnancy is a consequence of a choice you’ve made knowing full well of the possible outcome. As such, giving the baby up for adoption or ending your pregnancy may be an irresponsible decision. Besides, some unplanned pregnancies can be the beginning of a positive life-changing journey.
But of course, there would be disadvantages to this. Since you didn’t plan your pregnancy, you most likely didn’t budget for it, too. Prenatal care can be costly, especially if you don’t have health insurance. Every appointment is an expense, to be added by the costs of prenatal vitamins. What’s more, you have to buy all your delivery and nursery supplies.
If you have the support you need, seek help in finding resources that’ll make pregnancy and parenthood easier and more affordable for you. Maybe your friends with kids can lend you some baby stuff, like a crib or playpen. Their kids might also have hand-me-downs your newborn can use. Putting your resourcefulness into practice will be useful until your kid’s adulthood.
3. End the Pregnancy
Abortion will always be a difficult choice to make, no matter how unwanted your pregnancy is. But some circumstances make enduring nine months of childbearing unfair. It could have something to do with your health or living conditions.
Pregnancy complications, for example, can put your life at risk. If not, then it could increase the chances of your baby being born with abnormalities or congenital disorders. Either scenario makes childbirth risky for you and your baby, so discuss a safe medical abortion with your doctor. Ending a pregnancy would have emotional consequences, but you’d soon realize that saving your life has spared your baby from a difficult life.
Before choosing anything from the three, take time to think, and consult the people you trust. Surround yourself with people with your best interest at heart. But most importantly, trust your gut. If something feels right even if it’s difficult, chances are it’s the right choice.
